Slow Down

Like Clouds in the Sky

by Em Are · Mar 15, 2016

I hit a milestone today. 400 meditation sessions using the Calm app on my iPhone. Not too bad if I do say. That’s over a period of about 20 months or so.

The results?

More patience
Less stress when confronted with, let’s say, life’s frequent challenges
Greater sense of what’s going on around me
Being aware of today; less consumed with tomorrow

These are all good things for me, my family, and my business.

Having the ability of being able to take a step back a bit and breathe usually allows me to insert just enough time between ‘hear’ and ‘react’. That can make all the difference. Not that I was a knee-jerk reactionist before, but as a small business owner I’ve learned that I need to put time between when I first learn of a situation and how I respond to it.

I’m a solo-preneur. I work alone. Many days I have no direct interaction with client and other human beings outside of email and online chats. [Yes, please pity my wife for she gets the brunt of my cooped up desire for person-to-person interaction when she gets home from work most days.] In that environment, I find myself slipping into too much of an inwardly focused reaction template. Meditation has helped me by looking into myself and seeing what is most important. I must be present to what I am exposed to, while at the same time being aware of what the other person is being exposed to.

Meditation is good for my business. Through meditation I have learned to step back, add space and better understand the how’s and why’s of the situation presented to me.

Clients come from every possible perspective, I can see that. I’ve not been in business all that long, but I’m seeing new things every day. It’s all in how I react, how I embrace their needs, and most importantly, how I respond to them.

The more empathy in my response, the more likely that everyone will see the interaction as a successful one. One in which everyone’s concerns are heard, and appropriately responded to. I think that is the crux of small business. Approaching each and every situation in a personal, human manner. Let go of the corporate image, the crafted branding. Respond humanly.

One of the suggestions offered during the guided meditation I use is to “…let outside thoughts float by like clouds in the sky…”.

I find this suggestion helpful throughout the day to stay focused on what is truly important. Try it. Meditation may be just what your business consultant forgot to tell you.

_{Photo Credit: Logan Gorman}

I’m In The Right Place

by Em Are · Dec 23, 2015

I celebrated my birthday yesterday. Another one in the books. It was different somehow. Working as a freelancer, from a home office, gives me plenty of opportunity for quiet reflection, especially at this time of year when business activity seems to slow.

The development projects were all caught up, support issues had been dealt with for the moment, so I had time to read a few of the blogs I follow. There were a number of year-end wrap ups, and a few really good how-to posts. The year-end wraps caught most of my attention. You see, I am coming to the end of my first year as a full-time WordPress developer and small business owner.

In previous years I was able to look back and see how things went as a part-time freelancer. Those two years are marked with an asterisk (*), you know, the indicator to check the footnotes. They had some other form of income, either from a part-time job, or most recently, from another full-time gig that ended abruptly with the Friday-end-of-day-can-you-stop-in-my-office-before-you-leave-im. “We’ve decided to go in a different direction….”. Oh, please, spare me the BS!

While the income as a freelance business owner has no-way come close to the income I earned in corporate America, the intangible benefits have far exceeded my expectations.

Visited my doctor this past week for my 6-month check-in. Blood pressure and that bad cholesterol stuff are both way down. First time in more than 7 years. Now THAT’s an accomplishment to be proud of. I think I can count that as some sort of money in the bank, right?

I categorize that as a symbol of one of the soft benefits of my new chapter. I’m more relaxed, I think, and I have slowed down. I like to think that decisions I make are more thought out and less knee-jerk. I’ve learned to step back from potentially tense situations (aka questionable communications with clients, friends, family) to add space for thinking.

I can’t control how things will turn out. I can’t change things that have occurred. I CAN affect how I react to things right now. I can live in this moment and be present to what I am experiencing and how I react to it.

After all, isn’t that what it’s all about? Being present to the situation we find ourselves in, engaging with it, and making the next right decision on how to proceed with it.

I’m going through the process of looking back on my business year. I think that I have positively impacted a number of small businesses by building new business websites for them, or helping them to maintain their existing small business website. Revenue has definitely increased from the previous year; albeit a little short of where I had projected. Time to re-think marketing and prospecting activities.

I have met a number of awesome people this past year. Some I have been able to teach something to, but many more I have been able to learn from. I attended 5 WordCamps and 12 WordPress meetups. I made presentations three times at meetups and volunteered at the Philly WordCamp. Being the’local guy’ I even helped coordinate a multi-national gathering of #genesiswp folks at the inaugural WordCamp US in Philadelphia earlier this month. Now THAT was cool.

So, as long as I’m willing and able to learn something new, I think I’m in the right place. This place, this moment, right now.

Onward and upward.

I Found Some Peace

by Em Are · Dec 16, 2015

It’s December. It’s Christmas-time. It’s crazy-time. It’s year-end. It’s “i-need-this-today” time.

I get that. I surprised myself. I found peace and comfort within the last 12 hours.

My wife and I made cookies last night. First time in I can’t remember how long that we did that. Have we ever in our 25+ years of marriage? Don’t know. But we did last night. Four, count ’em, 4 different kinds. Just her and I, in the kitchen, for a couple of hours.

Man, it was cool.

And the result? Lots of goodies to try. Sure, some of them didn’t come out quite right. What do expect when you put the two of us in the kitchen together to do one of HER favorite things? I posted a pic of the goodies to our family Google+ hangout. (Believe me, that’s the only way two empty-nesters can stay in touch with two adult sons anymore.)

Their responses to the pic were priceless.

Son #1:

Ok now I’m jealous.

Son #2:

Oh boy…I might have to stop by in the mornin”.

I chuckled to myself this morning while I was sitting at the kitchen counter eating my breakfast and I heard a key in the back door. Son #2 “stopped by to say ‘hi'”. He grabbed some cookies. We had a few minutes of quality conversation and he was off.

I had turned on the lights of the Christmas tree to show Son #2 how good a job his mother had done on the tree this past weekend. After he left, I sat and stared at the tree for a bit. It was simple. One of the simplest ones we have had in a long, long time. Memories of my wife’s mother covered the tree. Good memories.

Man, what a calm feeling.

As I walked to my office this morning (not much effort, only about 75 feet down the driveway), I thought to myself that I had really experienced some wonderful feelings of peace over the past 12 hours.

Not a bad start for December 16.